Since late October I’ve been practicing Yoga for Beauty in my living room.  I have two DVDs.  One for dawn, and one for dusk.

I practice five to seven times a week.

I love it.

The practice of breathing, stretching, and rooting down into my beauty has been vital to loving my way out of depression and anxiety.

Recently, feelings of failure started sneaking into my practice.  I noticed them whenever I dwelled on – still – not being able to float.

(It’s a transition pose.  The first 10 seconds of the video linked here will show you exactly what it looks like.) 

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of research into the Law of Attraction and Visualization.  There are so many ancient and modern texts written on these subjects – but, so far, here’s how I boil them all down:

You get what you give.

The Law of Attraction is pure and perfect.  It dictates that whatever you fixate on, you get more of.  So, for example, my dwelling on NOT being able to float is actually what kept the pose out of my reach.

The Visualization part of the law is the first step in attracting what you want.  Apparently, first you “see” what it is you want – then, you need to “feel” already having it – then, the doing (as I understand it) kind of takes care of itself.

This isn’t to say that I believe you (or I) don’t have to do anything.  I think we have to do quite a bit.  It’s just that we don’t have to worry about what it is we have to do.  The path, the work, the how we get to what we want – that’s what is revealed.

A really easy way for me to initially grasp the concept was the adage: fake it until you make it.

And, when “fake” felt a little harsh for me, I turned it into: let your imagination take it until you make it.

Lately, I’ve been trying to find small ways to mindfully implement the Law of Attraction and Visualization into my day-to-day, and this morning it occurred to me that my float was a good place to start.

So, instead of dreading the moment  when my teacher (Rainbeau Mars) gently suggested that it was time to float – I saw it, felt it, and enjoyed it as the success it already was.

Briggs and Ken were already downstairs and I let myself feel giddy over them seeing me float for the first time.

And, then.  That’s exactly what happened.

For the first time EVER in this transition pose I felt my legs stay straight and my feet float off my mat and up to my hands.

“WOW!”  I cheered.

“What?” Briggs asked.

“I just floated.  I just floated.”

“Good job, Mum.”  Briggs said, as he immediately went back to his breakfast.

“Nice,” Ken whispered from the stove.

I floated three more times during the practice.  Each time a bit more successful than the last.

At the end of the hour, while sitting in Namaste (sitting criss-cross applesauce with your hands together at your chest in prayer position), I do exactly as Rainbeau asks, and I seal in the benefits of the practice by giving thanks.

I am thankful for trying.  I am thankful for the courage to keep coming back into my body.  I am thankful for the library and all the knowledge I’ve borrowed.  I am thankful for the strength and unyielding support of my family.

I am thankful that I now know that letting go and giving in have absolutely nothing to do with giving up.