Zara is my rescue pittie. On December 17, 2022, after a very long transport from Texas, I picked her up in Rhode Island. She was six months old, scared, dirty, and a complete love.

From that day forward, Zara has always slept with me…until last week, when she started spending at least half of the night sleeping with my son, and last night when she decided in full to sleep in his bed, even though he wasn’t here.

Now, a few things have changed since Zara’s arrival:

About six months ago, Zara was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease, MMM. The way I understand it, her immune system attacks the muscles in her face and head like an infection.

The good news is that we caught this remarkably early, and the treatment continues to work.

The heavier news is that treatment is a steroid, and while it’s helped in the most important ways, it’s also impacted her disposition and routine.

When Zara first arrived, she was known in the neighborhood as the great empathy dog. Regardless of size or shape, she’d lay down, roll over, and make everyone feel pretty loved when another dog approached.

Now, not so much.

If she didn’t know the pup before her treatment, she’s suspect of them now. Also, felines and any dog the size of one have secured spots on the no-pass list. Thankfully, she’s retained her love of her closest human and canine companions.

Supporting her dispositional changes has included changing her diet, upping her activity, swapping out different collars and leashes, and strategically planning low-trigger outings around the block.

Oh, and I also changed bedrooms.

Around the time of Zara’s diagnosis, I moved my bedroom from a more spacious room upstairs to a tiny room downstairs – this move was due to laundry—which is a story for another post.

Zara was never all-in with the move. She still slept with me but stopped leaping on the bed each night. But it’s what I needed to figure out my laundry issue. So, despite her not loving it, I stuck with the little cramped room for sleeping.

Briggs happily settled into the larger vacated space; apparently, Zara has too.

I am not all in with Zara’s decision to return to her original sleeping quarters—especially given that they are no longer mine.

Though, as she happily trotted down to greet me for our 5:30 morning walk, I couldn’t help but feel that maybe this, too, was love:

Giving myself enough permission and grace to make a change and then doing the same for others—even when their changes don’t entirely suit me.

I don’t want to give the wrong idea, though – plenty of snuggles remain.