A dear friend of mine is helping me break free of “try.”
Every time I say “I’ll try,” she reminds me to do 20 push-ups. (Though, I can actually only do 10 at a time, so I space it out. Still, my arms are starting to feel mostly tired, and look pretty great.)
This afternoon our family hiked a local path complete with adult fitness training stations. Pit stops for push-ups, rope climbs, sit-ups, balance beams and the likes.
The chin-up station gave me the most pause.
“I’m pretty sure I haven’t attempted one of these in fifteen years,” I confessed, out loud.
Then I thought about that not trying thing – and my recent arm work – and committed to doing at least one.
I started with some good grounding breaths.
Pull energy up from the earth, right up from the earth. (I looped this over and over in my head.) Now jump.
And I did – and to my surprise – caught the bar. Now pull. And I did…but…Now pull. Again, I did…but…Now…I lost my grip.
My biceps started twitching. I felt remarkably weak. There’s only do or don’t do – and I’d just not done.
I took another breath and recalled the Fuck It meditation that the same friend sent me just last night.
More breaths. Fuck it. Let that shit go.
And I did, and that’s when I noticed the ladder structure right next to the chin-up bar, and realized I could do a modified chin-up from there…and in fact, I could do three.
When I was done, my biceps were still twitching but they felt stronger – and I did, too.