Let it Go

Monday, November 23

It took me a long time to watch Frozen.

It’s not that I was opposed to watching the movie at the height of all it’s Disney glory – it’s just that at the time, Briggs was more into Thomas the Tank Engine.  And, I was more into work.

But, recently Briggs asked if we could borrow Frozen from the library, and so, we did.

I knew it was a story about sisters.  What I didn’t know is that it’s a story about the first true love of sisters.

I have four sisters.  And, I love them all equally.  But, my first true love is Lindsey.

Lindsey was born 21 months after me.

We shared a bedroom for nearly all of the years that we lived under the same roof(s).  We share the same Mom and Dad.  We shared the same last name, until we each married.  We shared our parents’ divorce, every move (up until college), and an unrequited love for Nerds, all books Judy Blume, and what we called, “yummy cheese.”  Port wine cheese food spread.  Delicious.

There have been times in our lives when we were inseparable.  Times when we’ve barely talked.  Times when we have taken care of one another with great sincerity, and times when we’ve caused lasting pain.

When I started this work of Self, I confessed to my Mom that the only thing I was really scared about was losing Lindsey.

What if she doesn’t like whoever I end up becoming?

But, after watching Frozen and undergoing today’s deep and intense therapy session, I finally let that hurtful worry go.

We will not always agree.  We will continue to be in different places at different times.  But she will always be my first true love – and that, certainly, will be frozen for all time in all ways.

And hell, the cold never bothered us anyway.  (Actually, it kind of always has, but I couldn’t resist.)

kelanshel

 

 

 

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