Clapping Along

I spent the majority of yesterday and today marveling at how my life has changed.

Yesterday, I spent six insightful and lovely hours becoming certified in Reiki I (a hands-on healing modality that connects us with the healing energy around us).  So, now I know how to give Reiki to myself and others.

And today, I spent another six insightful, healing, loving hours celebrating my in-laws’ birthdays – surrounded by some of my most favorite people in the world.

I am filled with so much gratitude and amazement for both days.

Five months ago, I knew something was really wrong when a trip to the museum with my extended family caused so much anxiety that I cried the whole ride in.  I was petrified for them to see me.  That they’d be able to tell.  And that all I had to offer them was more worry and disappointment.

Four months ago, I still believed everything was a chore.  That I couldn’t afford the time or effort to do anything but push and punish myself.

Three months ago, I didn’t even know what Reiki was.

Two months ago, I found the strength to give in and open up to anything that might help.

And today…today I am happy.

I am well.  Today, I am connected and fulfilled.  Today I am able to receive the joy of my family and the comfort of knowing (really knowing) that I am safe.  I am loved.  I am light.

Today, I gave my sister in-law a picture of Briggs and a card…letting her know that even though Ken and I never had a ceremony to make it “official,”  she is and always has been our son’s godmother.

She had no idea that I would be bringing her this gift today.

Just like I had no idea that she would be giving me a beautiful bracelet and a card…letting me know that she is grateful for me.  That she is proud of me.  That she has always, will always, be by me.  And that I am a gift to her brother and her nephew…and to “all of us.”

So, yes, today I am connected.  And I am grateful.  So very, very, grateful.

And I am Happy.


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