According to my therapist and nearly ever self-help book I’ve read, awareness matters.  So, I’m giving myself a couple points for just being aware that:

1. I haven’t been writing
2. I have been worrying
3. I’ve lost my appetite
4. I’m craving (constant) sleep

A bigger part of me wants to start deducting points for drifting so far off my path, but I’ve been through this cycle enough now to know that ultimately, the self-shaming and punishing just puts me deeper under the covers.

So, while I did go to bed last night around 8:30, I also found myself in this in-between space around four this morning.  Somewhere between dream and wake-state.  I knew I was laying in my bed, and I knew the only other people in the room were my sleeping son and husband, but for whatever reason I started to hear chants.

Collective “Oms” followed by equally beautiful, “Ahs.”

I synced my breathing to follow their lead.  In with Om, out with Ah.  In with Om, out with Ah.  In with Om, out with Ah.

The breathing and the dreaming – which is to say the chanting – continued, until it didn’t. Until I was fully awake, and noticing that all three of us – my husband, my son, and I were breathing in sync.

Together.

And my intention for the day was set:

Just breathe, together.