According to my therapist and nearly ever self-help book I’ve read, awareness matters. So, I’m giving myself a couple points for just being aware that:
- I haven’t been writing
- I have been worrying
- I’ve lost my appetite
- I’m craving (constant) sleep
A bigger part of me wants to start deducting points for drifting so far off my path, but I’ve been through this cycle enough now to know that ultimately, the self-shaming and punishing just puts me deeper under the covers.
So, while I did go to bed last night around 8:30, I also found myself in this in-between space around four this morning. Somewhere between dream and wake-state. I knew I was laying in my bed, and I knew the only other people in the room were my sleeping son and husband, but for whatever reason I started to hear chants.
Collective “Oms” followed by equally beautiful, “Ahs.”
I synced my breathing to follow their lead. In with Om, out with Ah. In with Om, out with Ah. In with Om, out with Ah.
The breathing and the dreaming – which is to say the chanting – continued, until it didn’t. Until I was fully awake, and noticing that all three of us – my husband, my son, and I were breathing in sync.
And my intention for the day was set:
Just breathe, together.